Just how Hilary is thinking of that little feature of American public life must keep her awake at night in ever glowing sheets. She no doubt thinks she is funny but when push comes to shove she will likely come across as having humour in a jugular vein.

Maybe she will just restrict her performances to slapping some poor chap's face - that always gets a laugh. Or maybe whacking a fellow diner with a tureen spoon. And tip the tureen over some poor visiting Ambassador's head for the encore.

As for the Commander-in-Chief part, well…. I am reminded of James Garner and Jack Lemmon who did a film about ex-Presidents some time ago. There was a scene in a car where they disclosed to one another the words they each had for the 'Hail to the Chief' tune. Words they had made up. Hilarious. "Hail to the Chief coz the Chiefs a nasty bastard…." or something along those lines.

What will Hilary make up, I wonder. The White House bedroom floor will be littered with scribbled bits of headed paper each morning as she struggles to get just the right feminist tone.

'Hail to the Chief
That's we who wears the Pants-Suit.
Praise our lovely hair
Or we'll poke you in the eye

A kick to the groin
Is our Foreign policee plan
A whack with a fry pan
to any passing man'.

Maybe you should have a competition Joyanna. But wherever you do, don't ask me about my words for when I am President. I keep writing new ones. I am favouring some lines at the moment about how a spray from the Amfortas can will beat B.O. but I am having trouble with the scan as there are also lines about chopping arms off so there will be a lot of quite airy armpits around.

It all creative go, this Prsidential lark.

I feel very guilty now knowing what a sweat he had to work up because I was attacked by frozen hamburger jumping out of my frig……whew! I'm getting thirsty just reading you!

Now, explain the French Maid….

That's usually true. But between them not letting us drill, and them forcing us to burn food in our tanks, they most definitely ARE having an effect on our wallets.

(In case you post it again, all I am getting at the moment is the Title and a tag.)

But until then, life goes on. Go to work, feed the kids, and enjoy what you can.

For him, foreplay is fraught with problems. Men prefer 30 to 45 Seconds of foreplay, less if at all possible. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.

No woman understands why this is.

Women prefer 30 to 45 Minutes of foreplay, in addition to a bubbly spa with Champagne and dinner out; and if she is in a ‘relationship’, the usual source of all these studies, him doing the washing up, vacuuming, putting out the rubbish and mowing the lawn.

As well as grocery shopping, washing & ironing, putting up shelves, re-arranging the furniture. She loves it when the furniture moves around at her command.

And begging.

This adds another 12 hours on average to his workload; sometimes a whole week. (Mean 12 hours, S.D. 5 days)

It is a mystery to him why these things didn’t turn her on when she was single and did them all herself. (Apart from the begging)

She “needs” to be turned on to, and by, him, each time, generally with some effort on his part. The housework never ends but waits until the afterglow of her last orgasm wears off. Usually about ten minutes.

She expects him to be turned on to her all the time she’s there. Only her. Not the hem of any old dress. Not by any other female. Not by his own hormones. Her. And the washing up. He is to be totally disinterested any time she is out of his sight, and when she is out he must be mopping the bathroom in preparation.

He has to initiate. He has to reach out to her, be sexually adventurous, interesting, open, inventive and daring. And have the ironing done, the cutlery polished and the pantry shelves all emptied, cleaned and the items rearranged with the tall items at the back. "Pantries before Panties" is what she learned from her mother.

She wants to be ‘taken’. First to the new shelves and then to watch him arrange the nick-knacks to her raise her to fever-pitch.

She sees sex as a form of ‘communication’. She wants to know his most secret sexual thoughts. His history and experience with other women. His fantasies. She wants him to ‘Talk to her’. She wants to know what he is thinking as he is cleaning the stove; what special washing cycles did these other women like.

He is reluctant. He wants to avoid this. He thinks she will not like it. So, he asks for her secret thoughts, fantasies, history etc., too, to head it off.

Mistake.

She lists between 170 and 500 (approx) men who all ‘pursued her relentlessly‘ cleaning fluids in hand, and to whom some she ‘gave in to’, was ‘swept away’ by, or was ‘forced to do it for /to him’, and were all either fantastic in bed or total jerks who wilted at those difficult corners and stairs.

Her fantasies are few and involve a 19th Century, Crinoline, a hooped dress and a fan. Mops and buckets feaature for most women. Harpsichords and Lutes have been mentioned in some of the more exotic women’s admissions. She doesn’t have any sexual thoughts at all unless she’s with him; and they are about herself and Jiffy Cloths. She does not use a single rude word. She swears it’s the truth.

He believes her. He tells her. All. The truth, too.

He confesses about all three women and even the one whose name he doesn’t remember any more. And the little red-headed girl in his third grade class that he adored from afar and never spoke to.

To be fair.

She hates them.

Her eyes narrow.

He tells of his fantasies. They often involve several people, some entirely fictitious. They are quite focused on sexual pleasure with a lot of grinning. And in many forms, all ending with very satisfied smiles and exhaustion all around.

And sweat.

Lots of fluids.

She hates him. None are antiseptic fluids. He talks ‘dirty’. But he never mentions washing the sheets and changing the pillow-cases. She reaches for the tissue box and berates him for 'hiding' it deliberately in a drawer.

The more initiating, adventurous, daring, interesting, inventive, communicative, open and reaching out to her he is, the
more ‘demanding’, ‘needy’ or ‘perverted’ he is likely to be considered.

That means an extra two weeks of Ajax and Mr Clean for him.

For him, foreplay is more than just very complicated.

It is terrifying. And friggin' exhausting.

Now if only we had "loser pays", so you weren't out a lot of money, this might actually be a little fun.

Of course if JohnMc isn't any better, then……. Oh never mind. We're going to Hell. I guess I'll go buy some handbasket futures.

Burning corn in our tanks is the cause of food prices shooting through the roof. I (and my neighbors) complain about it. Poor countries are rioting (and starving). Thanks, Algore. (Though the smaller world population we end up with just may be Al's purpose.)

And by the way, these people do worship the earth and all things in it (except people). They don't just hug trees, they look up to them. These "environmentalists" are the New Druids. In their sick, twisted minds, the world would be better off without people.

what they are finding out is that the people they have been hating, have been making it possible for them to have a better life.

technically they are going to find out how much their food really costs when american workers are not paying half the cost before its grown.

the biggest thing on this isnt china so much, its our ethanol. and if you go to BOTH dems websites you can see that they plan to make this all a lot worse…

which then makes everyone mad that we are no longer subsidizing their hatred and contempt of us while they have a meal.

gong to be a sad scary time in the next few decades. historically speaking, we are in for one of those old time wars that we thought were over.

The counter-arguments to blinkered feminists need to be repeated over and over it seems. And they do go on and on repeating the same tired old mendacities, don't they. Go to it, good woman and more empowerment to your blog.

If anyone is going to be heard repudiating feminism, it is women. The Lord Harry knows that men are't heard.

By the way, my good friend Percy sends a wink.

And,

Vote#1 Amfortas. The Gnome's sword is longer than his legs.

If they do try, however, I will declare war too and I can promise that I will hold out on my maountain even if surrounded by General Patreus and the whole Army accompanied by the West Point Marching Band and Display Squadron.

You'll never take meeee, youuu dirty rats.

I expect to get a casino at the very least.

This is all speculative of course. I am closing on Obama in the Primaries according to Jim Lehrer's Newshour and fully expect to be swept into power on massed shoulders with that same marching band in the lead. So the war option is simply a fall-back position in the event Hilary cheats, again.

My but we are a shade harsh with Cardinal Rottwieler today. He's been growling quietly for a while now but so far hasn't bitten anyone's arse. Bitter? Pretty bitter. That's the German bitter not the taste. Or if you like, Te precor dulcissime supplex! (Pretty please with a cherry on top!).

Mexicans in your church soon? Just so long as they bring the Tridentime Mass back with them. None of this vernacular from any old small village. Let's all understand what's being said. Bring the Universal language back from the dead. Googlismus.

I think the Pope's idea of a One World Order differes markedly from that of the plethora of socialists we have spreading like the plague. Big G is in there somewhere - or His son. Son I think. They are a sort of Divine Burning Bushes intent on uniting the whole world with sweetness and light - maybe after a bit of localised biffo.

But I don't think the Pope is activly working with George or Hillarious or the darkie fellow, Seantor Wossname. (I.m unsure of McCain. Wake him up and ask him) But then, who knows. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.*2

*1 - Is that a scroll in your toga, Joyanna, or are you just happy to see me?

*2 - I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Thank goodness all that has been changed by much needed feminism. Now we have billions of dollars devoted entirly to raising the self-esteem of girls; fast-track into quadratic equations for tiny tot girls; an almost entirely female dominated education workforce (wash you mouf out, Amfortas. Only MEN !! ™, 'dominate'); and an internet awash with women all outdoing Linda in kind and degree and showing just what empowerment and chices do to make the world a much better place.

But at least he's got a cute, Amazonian tree frog on his wall. I bet he tried to lick it, at least once.

Not to say "government never lies", but newspapers are dying because of self-inflicted wounds. The NYT is whining about loss of circulation and yet it continues to do the same old, same old. Even as they collapse they blame others. It couldn't be because they just make stuff up, and everyone knows it (except a few die-hard libs who don't care - but there's not enough of them to float anything).