BlogWonks

The lamestream media told you:

April 22 was Earth Day, when all reasonable people praised and worshipped Mother Earth, danced gaily with renewable organic flowers in their hair, adopted the deepest principles of self-sacrifice environmentalism — which has been proven to be a scientific fact — and conserve, reuse, recycle, reduce and lower their standard of living to save the planet and achieve equality through self sacrifice. If man-and-woman-kind weren’t inherently evil consumers of Earth’s bounty, led by the U.S. and industrialized oppressor nations with a high standard of greed, this wouldn’t be needed in the first place.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

An unknown number of people worldwide, suspecting hypocrisy in stories about Earth Day, have named April 22nd as “Exploit the Earth Day,” led by a clever band of merry men and one Craig Biddle, who The Uninvited Ombudsman does not know. According to Biddle:

“‘Exploit the Earth or die. It’s not a threat. It’s a fact.’ Either man takes the Earth’s raw materials — such as trees, petroleum, aluminum, and atoms — and transforms them into the requirements of his life, or he dies. To live, man must produce the goods on which his life depends; he must produce homes, automobiles, computers, electricity, and the like; he must seize nature and use it to his advantage. There is no escaping this fact. Even the allegedly ‘noble’ savage must pick or perish. Indeed, even if a person produces nothing, insofar as he remains alive he indirectly exploits the Earth by parasitically surviving off the exploitative efforts of others.”

During intensive questioning, Counterintuitive Man said, “Biddle’s right,” and added, “Atoms includes but is not limited to carbon atoms, and Biddle forgot to mention food — you need to exploit earth’s resources for food.” Too many people fail to exploit earth for food and starve, he notes, leading to calls for funding from nations that do exploit earth for food.