Loading ...I just read an article on MSN in which the author, Leslie Bennetts, urged wives to yell, nag, withhold sex, whatever it takes, to get their husbands to do half the housework.
What she fails to recognize is that the out-of-home work that most men do is far harder and more stressful, and takes many more hours. Study after study show that even when the wife works full-time (and many women don't), the man works more hours and is more likely to have a more stressful and/or dangerous job. Those factors need to be taken into account when deciding how much housework the man should do.
amfortas said,
For him, foreplay is fraught with problems. Men prefer 30 to 45 Seconds of foreplay, less if at all possible. For the man, driving back to her place is considered a part of foreplay.
No woman understands why this is.
Women prefer 30 to 45 Minutes of foreplay, in addition to a bubbly spa with Champagne and dinner out; and if she is in a ‘relationship’, the usual source of all these studies, him doing the washing up, vacuuming, putting out the rubbish and mowing the lawn.
As well as grocery shopping, washing & ironing, putting up shelves, re-arranging the furniture. She loves it when the furniture moves around at her command.
And begging.
This adds another 12 hours on average to his workload; sometimes a whole week. (Mean 12 hours, S.D. 5 days)
It is a mystery to him why these things didn’t turn her on when she was single and did them all herself. (Apart from the begging)
She “needs” to be turned on to, and by, him, each time, generally with some effort on his part. The housework never ends but waits until the afterglow of her last orgasm wears off. Usually about ten minutes.
She expects him to be turned on to her all the time she’s there. Only her. Not the hem of any old dress. Not by any other female. Not by his own hormones. Her. And the washing up. He is to be totally disinterested any time she is out of his sight, and when she is out he must be mopping the bathroom in preparation.
He has to initiate. He has to reach out to her, be sexually adventurous, interesting, open, inventive and daring. And have the ironing done, the cutlery polished and the pantry shelves all emptied, cleaned and the items rearranged with the tall items at the back. "Pantries before Panties" is what she learned from her mother.
She wants to be ‘taken’. First to the new shelves and then to watch him arrange the nick-knacks to her raise her to fever-pitch.
She sees sex as a form of ‘communication’. She wants to know his most secret sexual thoughts. His history and experience with other women. His fantasies. She wants him to ‘Talk to her’. She wants to know what he is thinking as he is cleaning the stove; what special washing cycles did these other women like.
He is reluctant. He wants to avoid this. He thinks she will not like it. So, he asks for her secret thoughts, fantasies, history etc., too, to head it off.
Mistake.
She lists between 170 and 500 (approx) men who all ‘pursued her relentlessly‘ cleaning fluids in hand, and to whom some she ‘gave in to’, was ‘swept away’ by, or was ‘forced to do it for /to him’, and were all either fantastic in bed or total jerks who wilted at those difficult corners and stairs.
Her fantasies are few and involve a 19th Century, Crinoline, a hooped dress and a fan. Mops and buckets feaature for most women. Harpsichords and Lutes have been mentioned in some of the more exotic women’s admissions. She doesn’t have any sexual thoughts at all unless she’s with him; and they are about herself and Jiffy Cloths. She does not use a single rude word. She swears it’s the truth.
He believes her. He tells her. All. The truth, too.
He confesses about all three women and even the one whose name he doesn’t remember any more. And the little red-headed girl in his third grade class that he adored from afar and never spoke to.
To be fair.
She hates them.
Her eyes narrow.
He tells of his fantasies. They often involve several people, some entirely fictitious. They are quite focused on sexual pleasure with a lot of grinning. And in many forms, all ending with very satisfied smiles and exhaustion all around.
And sweat.
Lots of fluids.
She hates him. None are antiseptic fluids. He talks ‘dirty’. But he never mentions washing the sheets and changing the pillow-cases. She reaches for the tissue box and berates him for 'hiding' it deliberately in a drawer.
The more initiating, adventurous, daring, interesting, inventive, communicative, open and reaching out to her he is, the
more ‘demanding’, ‘needy’ or ‘perverted’ he is likely to be considered.
That means an extra two weeks of Ajax and Mr Clean for him.
For him, foreplay is more than just very complicated.
It is terrifying. And friggin' exhausting.
May 1, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Joyanna Adams said,
I feel very guilty now knowing what a sweat he had to work up because I was attacked by frozen hamburger jumping out of my frig……whew! I'm getting thirsty just reading you!
Now, explain the French Maid….
May 4, 2008 at 4:31 pm