I just did a review for He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys and I thought maybe someone at MND might find it useful in terms of their daily discussions. Believe me, I’m not recommending it, lol.
Im trying to put together a book of my own concerning some of this stuff which is what led me to finally devour this lightweight bestseller. I grant that Im not the target audience for Mr. Behrendt, but I was rather astounded that such a simple and deceptive work received the blockbuster reception it did. Liz Tuccillo is co-author and she occasionally adds some input of her own here. She is not astute regarding these matters but appears to know fifty times more about relationships than the works principal author.
The main problem with the book is its gigantic misunderstanding of female motivation regarding reproductive selection. A crucial and unbelievably integral fact that Mr. Behrendt does not comprehend is that women are attracted to men who are indifferent towards them. The snarky and condescending advice he issues in the form of answers to fanmailand it is within this format that Hes Just Not Into You is structuredsoon becomes pointless as a result. Behrendt can describe to women what some men may be thinking but he has no idea what females are thinking or how they get themselves into particular situations.
Women do not like guys who initially come off as being subservient (when they first meet them at least, long-term is a different matter entirely). This is why the nice guys finishing last mantra came about in the first place. That this quip about nice guys is so well known is due to its being true. Women, for a variety of psychological reasons, are repulsed by men who worship them in the early stages of courtship. They want a man whos a challenge and one who will not immediately roll over for them and become their groupie. Thats why they attach themselves to fellows who are not that into them.
What males reading this havent had a girl you were only mildly interested in end up falling love with you? It happens all the time and its a result of ambivalence. Whereas, the women for whom one cannot hide intense admiration are the same ones who lose respect for you and blow you off. This is a very common occurrence, and it will continue until our society stops referring to the fairer sex with the respect that should be reserved for Abraham Lincoln or Dr. Martin Luther King.
Lastly, why should any person have to be notified about others not being into them? This is most troubling. Shouldnt normal folks be able to discern such a state of affairs on their own? I suppose though that this last question is one well have to explore at a later date.
10 Responses
Women naturally admire strength and despise weakness in men, which is one reason why feminist nutcases fantasize being dominated by an imaginary patriarchy. Society no longer allows men to be strong, so their contempt for men grows.
Posted on December 28th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
People have been coming up with simple explanations and rationalisations since Ug tried to convince Ahrg that Ugette loved being whacked over the head with a club.
Posted on December 28th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Ugette wanted a man who could fend off other men and dangerous animals, not one who could pick drapes for her and help her with her feelings.
Posted on December 28th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
i fell into this sinkhole just this past year. went gaga over a lady and let her know it too soon. i think she was attracted to me but now thinks i am a wimp. believe me, it sucks too!
Posted on December 28th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
I have never read this book, however I believe one to the claims it makes is that the reason blokes don’t call is because he isn’t into her.
However a piece of research showed that the main reason blokes do not call is because of a fear of rejection.
Basically I think one of the problems is that myself included I worry too much about what women are thinking.
One one hand we get accused of being insensitive sexists pigs if we don’t worry about what they are feeling and on the other we slammed dunked if we do worry.
Posted on December 29th, 2007 at 4:07 am
WHITE GUILT
Let’s start off with the notion of Abraham Lincoln and Dr. Martin Luther King are the two men who should define respect. Abraham Lincoln saved the Union by engaging in a civil war that killed millions of his fellow Americans and destroyed the concept of states’ rights forever opening the door for FDR Marxism. He enslaved thousands of immigrant Irishmen to fight in his war even as he claimed to be freeing blacks. In the end, blacks were still treated as second class citizens for over a hundred years leading to white guilt today which is perfectly represented by the modern gushing worship of “Dr.” “Reverend” Martin Luther King (Jr.).
Why this gushing worship? Because white guilt demands respect of some major black historical figure and all his titles have to be listed. Abraham Lincoln had an honorary title of Doctor but it’s ostentatious to mention it. Do we add the titles of WHITES we cite as major historical figures? MLK was a communist and a race baiter and fully supported reverse discrimination against whites but he’s hailed as a champion of equality for his “I have a dream” speech where he claims to want a future where people will be judged on their character rather than color of their skin (but for NOW, blame whites for everything).
In the meantime, the founding fathers who defined and put into practice limited government are swept aside by the above warlords and race-hustlers, respectively. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamen Franklin, John Locke, and George Washington were so great that they broke the mold. Oh, wait, they were white guys and some of them owned slaves. Nevermind.
Chivalry and white guilt both use the same receptors in the brain to generate this feeling of feeling good and kind and at the same time avoid negative feelings of guilt about being a “racist” or “sexist” or possibly alienating women. It’s the brain chemistry of shame and meekness. More in the next comment.
Posted on December 29th, 2007 at 9:57 am
(Certain) Women like Bad Boys
Before we generalize about women, we should take into account that the states is a very special place where relations between the sexes is unusually warped and unhealthy. More than half of all marriages end in divorce and 40% of women have children out of wedlock.
Foreign women, on the other hand, don’t react with disgust and even hatred at men treating them well. Modern feminism in the states taught women to treat kind hearted men as saps to be regarded as “oppressors”. Women from other cultures know better.
That said, however, women will naturally treat men badly if the men are milquetoast saps and honest women will admit they want men who are firm but fair with them. It’s the reason why equality for women is impossible: Women seek to abuse power as a demonstration of it while for men it’s a means to a particular end.
Posted on December 29th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hey wait, no one mentioned anything about “She’s just not that into you dude”, could it be we sort of have the necessary means to figure that out (ala no boom-boom = nope, I guess she ain’t that into me) or is there something more nefarious out there? They’re just not into us as a rule. Unless they’ve decided they want kids and then it’s “oh, baby, baby, baby”.
I like the “White Guilt” comment PK, perhaps the womenzes have learned that and used it to create “Penis Gulit” wherein everything that goes wrong has to be a man’s fault, heck, we invented everything, created everything and then freed everyone to enjoy it. Talk about getting bit in the backside.
Well, another great article Bernie. I actually saw the Oprey Windbag show where the guy that wrote the book was on. Sad to watch all those attractive broads in the audience, oops, my bad, “ladies”, croon and swoon over a phrase that most 5 year olds figure out pretty quickly. He ain’t giving me a cookie, I guess he ain’t into me. At least for now.
Posted on December 30th, 2007 at 7:37 am
White Males: The cause, and solution, to the world’s problems
Happy New Year Ed,
I think it’s the other way around: The marxists cleverly exploited chivalry and the collapse of puritannical sexual mores in U.S. and leveraged them into a generic form of white male guilt.
I personally never understood this impulse other than second-hand. I see a lot of other white males, including some from working class backgrounds, who just love to bash their own gender and race and now in addition love to worry about the world coming to an end and want to pay $10 for a gallon of gas and turn off the electricity.
I think maybe it has to do with their need to feel important. If they bash themselves as the source of the world’s problems, then that gets them off the hook for being wimps who can’t stand up for themselves the rest of the time. Nothing is safer than bashing yourself (few will try to stop you.)
That said, it’s amazing to see other groups not sharing an interest in this self-bashing philosophy: women, religious and ethnic “minorities”, and gays all believe in the ideal that the best way to save the world is to grab as much as they can for themselves (both fisted.)
One white male leftist even sneered at me that I was the cause of the world’s problems (well, no surprise there) and that I had to learn to be cooperative so we could save the world and get free healthcare and I responded: “Why shouldn’t I be a selfish bastard? Everyone you worship as a victim is!!!” What happens when everyone is a member of a special interest group? The answer to that is check out Bosnia/Serbia, or the Middle East, or Southeast Asia, or even South America.
Posted on January 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
** A crucial and unbelievably integral fact that Mr. Behrendt does not comprehend is that women are attracted to men who are indifferent towards them. **
Mmmm, sorry. Not this girl. I like men who are polite, interested and interesting and have a spine yet manage to be well mannered. Lack of interest in me is not a turn on.
Men who are rude are not sexy, they are rude. There is a ocean in between ignoring and fawning all over somebody. Come on people, don’t view life in black and white.
Posted on January 2nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
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