By now all of the civilized world has viewed the clip of Miss South Carolina’s meandering, ungrammatical and incoherent answer to a question posed to her during the Miss Teen USA competition.

Lauren Caitlin Upton, 18, was asked by pageant judge Aimee Teergarden:

“Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map. Who do you think this is?”

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist, brain surgeon or cartographer to answer this query without giving it much thought. But this simple question was too much for Miss Upton who replied:

 ”I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.”

The teen queen’s rambling response left all of us muttering: Watcha talking about Willis?

Any other response would have been better than the one provided by the hapless beauty queen; here are a few that come to mind:

*Maps? Who needs maps when we have Google Earth and MapQuest!

*I don’t have a clue, I’m one of those Americans who couldn’t find the U.S. in a map.

*Do I look like a freakin’ cartographer to you?

*I personally believe in world peace for U.S. America, the Iraq and the Asian countries like Germany and France.

*I don’t need a map, I have GPS in the Porsche my daddy bought me.

*I take the 15th Amendment, I refuse to answer because I don’t want to discriminate myself.

I personally believe that I don’t care, uh, that, Miss Teen South Carolina is not the sharpest person in South Africa, or, er, the Iraq, she’s really hot, so, um, it’s like I really, really like her.