To those in the black community…
Black men, black women! Where are our strong leaders? Where are those who are willing to pick up the baton from those who’ve toiled and worked to give us the freedom we have today? There is a blight affecting the black community, and as a people, we’ve got to pick ourselves up! We have only ourselves to blame!
As leaders within our homes, within our churches, and other areas of society, all of us have a part in making sure that we undergird our children, and help them to become productive members of American society, that they put something back into this nation and bless it. In turn, black communities will be blessed. But that’s not happening.
Our black brothers and sisters are in trouble on so many fronts.
In the black community, many of those at the helm have dropped the ball. Immorality at all levels has crept in, and the signs of immense suffering show. AIDS is now an overwhelming crisis, children born out of wedlock is at 70%, kids are growing up in broken homes, high school dropout rates among blacks are at 10.9% (according to the National Center for Education Statistics in the year 2001), crime and drug use is rampant and hyped in popular culture, and corruption among leaders is a big problem.
While I am no big fan of the Rev. Al Sharpton, and don’t share his politics, he made a poignant statement at the National Association of Black Journalists. Sharpton pointed out how Hollywood and the music industry portray the “gangsta” mentality as being cool and hip.
“We have got to get out of this gangster mentality, acting as if gangsterism and blackness are synonymous,” demanded Sharpton.
“…that challenge has to be given to Hollywood and the record industry. I think we’ve allowed a whole generation of young people to feel that if they’re focused, they’re not black enough. If they speak well and act well, they’re acting white, and there’s nothing more racist than that.”
Sharpton has not been the only black celebrity to speak out against the ills in the black community. Bill Cosby has been vilified by some in the black community for speaking out about the irresponsibility of black parents for not emphasizing education and implementing discipline in their homes. But that is certainly true, and sometimes, the truth hurts and people can’t take it. The result, they lash back.
It ought not be that way.
Cosby has traveled the country, giving speeches to young people about social issues affecting them today. He recently spoke to kids at an elementary school in West Baltimore about the issue of teen pregnancy.
“If you hear a female say, ‘I want to have something that loves me,’ stop her, stop her quickly. Duct tape her to the closet. This is no time to fool around. You can’t dump this (baby) on your mother, you can’t dump this on your grandmother,” said Cosby.
At Coppin State University where he attended an event called “Fatherhood Works,” Cosby addressed absent fathers. ”This is a great evening because we’re calling on men to come claim their children. And that’s part of being a man. You cannot be a man at all if you haven’t claimed your child.”
“Some of you have three, four, five of them. You have more children than you have jobs.”
Cosby’s comments were warmly received during each speech..as it should be.
It’s time for young blacks to rise. If you are an adult, given the important position to lead, it is imperative that you keep your slate as clean as possible; you are leading a people, and they look up to you.
I am also reminded of Tyler Perry’s influential and powerful plays and dramas, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, and Medea’s Family Reunion. These plays have helped people deal with touchy situations and have helped heal wounds.
While I am SO glad for those who have stood up and “told it like it is” regardless of what people said, and for those who are bold to touch a subject that will make people cringe, there are still FAR less people who are willing to “go there” and stand up for what is decent and moral, and issue a warning about the way society is headed… the way the black community is headed.
How can there be a change in direction if no one is willing to wake us from our slumber and say, “Hey, something is wrong. Our communities are suffering; we need to look at what we are doing.” Yes, it’s time for a change.
Let’s think of those who have gone before us… activists, inventors, inspirational leaders who have defined black Americans, those who have given us an example to follow. What would they think of the condition of blacks in America today, and the overall lack of apathy of those in charge?
Whether it’s the black community, or any community within America today, it is the duty of adults, us as parents, to be a positive role model for the next generation.
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. –Proverbs 22:6 KJV
It is not the government’s job to raise them, it’s our job. We need to teach accountability, and it starts with the adults. Some adults will need to take a serious look at themselves first and determine if they are being a light or a hindrance to others. That is the only way to get our children back on track and heal our homes. It starts with the adults first.
Can the black community come back from its bondage? Let’s rise to the occasion and expect more from ourselves!
Signed,
A Black Sista who is tired of all the madness
Related Reading
Out-Of-Wedlock Births in Black America
Dropout Rates in the United States: in 2001
Al Sharpton: ‘Gangsterism’ Hurts Blacks
Bill Cosby: Men, Claim Your Children
Tyler Perry: Creator of Diary of a Mad Black Woman & Medea’s Family Reunion
From a White Guy…
I wish Felicia would read this message.
I write as a White man who since his divorce has dated 3 women, 2 of them Black.
I am not going back to white women. They are too high on Maslow’s Heirarchy of needs for me to reach. Black women, the intelligent and so beautiful ones I have met, are DESPERATE.
Care for the whole race is last on their mind. They are desperate not for money and shelter. They can get that by applying themselves, which they do with unstoppable resolve.
They are desperate emotionally, to belong, and cannot have that until they feel SAFE.
What makes them afraid? Why are they not safe?
1. The hidden bisexual culture of black males spreading AIDS in heterosexual black females at alarming rates. – The extreme of the Playa Culture – the STEALTH BISEXUAL Culture
2. The “let the woman take care of you” Black Male Culture, which invites the idle man who does not work to join the Playa Culture and get involved with drugs and STD’s, as well as makes them doubt a man who has a job or two but never keeps them because he never shows up because the whole working hard but not bringing home any money is just a cover. This is the STEALTH PIMP Culture.
3.The Gangsta Culture.
4. The Pimp Culture
An intelligent woman can stay clear of threats #3 and #4. THese characters are easy to spot. They run around with their pants down on their thighs givng the Secret Prison/SEALTH BISEXUAL signal that they go both ways, or they have gawdy attire and gold about them dressing up the swine that they are.
Yes, most still think the pants thing is a style, but it really is the Secret Signal of the STEALTH BISEXUAL Culture.
So, having some selfworth and esteem, a woman can spot threat #3 and #1 combinaton and #4 half a block away, and not make any investment of time in such a person.
Threat #2 the STEALTH PIMP is not so clear. It takes about 6 months of excuses and investment of heart and soul into a man to help him help himself up before you realize that he cannot keep a job, because he has other real interests: probably being a Playa.
After 6 mo. of this co-dependent relationship it is often too late for even the most intelligent. The emotional investment is too extreme. The mental and verbal abuse that is going along wth the deal has the individual doing all the work taking all the blame and trying to find the one thing that will bring out the man’s hidden potential.
After 6 mo. there is also the greater possibility of a baby on the way that is holding her to the man who is PIMPING her.
Since he is verbally and mentally abusing her, he is actually pulling a small time PIMPING job, all on her. Let’s call it what it is!
Now, #1. The FEAR of AIDS from the STEALTH BISEXUAL CULTURE.
This FEAR is REAL and it is for ones own life. Maslow’s immediate heirarchy need category is LIFE.
These women I have known have decided that CHASTITY is their only course to save themselves, their lives, pain, and suffering.
These women have decided to save themselves from the STEALTH PIMPS by dumping guys who call and ask “What are you wearing” and give cool talk. They will not look at guys with the Gangsta style, or seemingly normal ones sending the STEALTH BISEXUAL Signal.
Really, these women are done with Black men over all. They do not have the time and heart to waste. They are going somewhere and believe that they are somebody.
Without Black Men there are no Black Families. Without Black Families there is no Black Community or Culture, as nobody is preserving anything for the Children to possess today or inherit tomorrow.
So, there is then no need or function for Black Leaders.
Black men, you want capable and intelligent Black Women who will be successful, discover respectful language, Appreciation, and Chastity. Wear your clothes correctly and do not send the STEALTH BISEXUAL signal.
If you do not, and want a dumb blonde trophy girl…there are plenty of them out there. Dumb as rocks, will believe everything that you say, love the danger you make them feel when you are around, and will eat up all the abuse you can whip up. The world is full of them waiting to be Pimped for empty promises of money and a good backhand every now and then.
Let us face it Felicia. There is a large segment of society who wants to live like the Jerry Springer show. He did not create them, he just exposed them. These people out number normal people like you.
Do not worry. White culture that the Black Civil Rights movement needed leadership to get a ticket to is almost gone now. Between NAFTA, MTV, and the family courts there is really nothing left seperating the cultures, they are both debased and dysfunctional beyond repair.
The only difference is that intelligent Black Women are the only ones who are not decived. They know it is going to take everything that they have to survive, while white women think that life is a party.
The STEALTH BISXUAL, PIMP, and GANGSTA Cultures of Black Men are not going to embrace the constructive needs and propensities of Black Women which maintain and create a Culture.
The present leadership is not going to find support from such Culture of Men.
Thus there will be no constructive leadership that you seek, EVER.
So, it is every Black Woman for herself as she tries to avoid victimization.
Imagine that. The White Male Victims of the White Liberal Femenist weapon of Divorce being the Saviors and Lifeboats for the Lives of Black Women? Because the White Man has discovered that WHite Women always held the Power and held the Line Politically against the Black Culture in the Past, are Controlling. Manipulative, Merciless, and Selfish in adversity.
Ms. Benamon,
I would like to commend you for not using the term African-American once in your article.
That very term (known as hyphenated American) in my opinion is part of the problem. It on the surface looks to offer “special” status. In reality however, it only serves to further isolate the black community. I have never understood why blacks would allow, and even refer to themselves as, in my opinion, second-class citizens.
If I were a black (American) man and someone referred to me as African-American I would be sure to set that person straight. Its nothing but a bunch of PC nonsense.
“There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.
When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all.
This is just as true of the man who puts “native” before the hyphen as of the man who puts German or Irish or English or French before the hyphen.
Americanism is a matter of the spirit and of the soul. Our allegiance must be purely to the United States. We must unsparingly condemn any man who holds any other allegiance.
But if he is heartily and singly loyal to this Republic, then no matter where he was born, he is just as good an American as any one else.
The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English- Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian- Americans, or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality than with the other citizens of the American Republic.
The men who do not become Americans and nothing else are hyphenated Americans; and there ought to be no room for them in this country. The man who calls himself an American citizen and who yet shows by his actions that he is primarily the citizen of a foreign land, plays a thoroughly mischievous part in the life of our body politic.
He has no place here; and the sooner he returns to the land to which he feels his real heart-allegiance, the better it will be for every good American.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Addressing the Knights of Columbus
in New York City 12 October 1915
When I wrote this article, I knew that I would get some criticism from it, but I’m glad to see some positive comments, some very POWERFUL comments. To answer both of you…
thurston861:
I’m glad you responded, it’s pretty much the truth what you said. Not that I’ve experienced any of what you were talking about. I think though that my article was a harsh wake up call, and I don’t know what it’s gonna take for some folks… black men (it’s a shame that many have lowered themselves into the gutter) to come back to normalcy and decency and be MEN not whores for other men.
Keep speaking your mind, that’s a good thing.
ggreen67 said (my comments imbedded):
Ms. Benamon,
I would like to commend you for not using the term African-American once in your article.
Felicia: Truthfully, I HATE that term. I am fully AMERICAN, I wasn’t born in Africa
That very term (known as hyphenated American) in my opinion is part of the problem.
Felicia: It is. And it separates all of us into different groups when we all are supposed to be Americans. I’ve spoken about this before in previous articles, it really bugs me, all the political correctness. I never use African-American.
It on the surface looks to offer “special” status. In reality however, it only serves to further isolate the black community. I have never understood why blacks would allow, and even refer to themselves as, in my opinion, second-class citizens.
If I were a black (American) man and someone referred to me as African-American I would be sure to set that person straight. Its nothing but a bunch of PC nonsense.
“There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.
When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all.
This is just as true of the man who puts “native” before the hyphen as of the man who puts German or Irish or English or French before the hyphen.
Americanism is a matter of the spirit and of the soul. Our allegiance must be purely to the United States. We must unsparingly condemn any man who holds any other allegiance.
But if he is heartily and singly loyal to this Republic, then no matter where he was born, he is just as good an American as any one else.
The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English- Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian- Americans, or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality than with the other citizens of the American Republic.
The men who do not become Americans and nothing else are hyphenated Americans; and there ought to be no room for them in this country. The man who calls himself an American citizen and who yet shows by his actions that he is primarily the citizen of a foreign land, plays a thoroughly mischievous part in the life of our body politic.
He has no place here; and the sooner he returns to the land to which he feels his real heart-allegiance, the better it will be for every good American.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Addressing the Knights of Columbus
in New York City 12 October 1915
Felicia: This is such a POWERFUL statement, and I thank you for commenting. This is true, we need to stop splitting ourselves up into categories like this, into groups. I have LONG been tired of political correctness…at some point, it has to be eradicated.
Thank you BOTH for being strong, intelligent men not afraid to stand their ground and tell the truth!
–Felicia